May Long Weekend--Here we go again!

Happy Victoria Day Long Weekend!
Lazy Gnome checking in to wish all you gardeners the best as you battle crowds at garden centres to score that red geranium you want for your front planter...LG is taking (most of) the weekend off. (She and family members are heading to Jasper where LG is anticipating much cooler weather than here in the city—not that it has been HOT or anything!!

LG’s internal clock is off kilter: in some ways it seems way too early to get excited about planting annuals, and she is perplexed to see people combing over the racks of lobelia at Home Depot. On the other hand, because of the past 10 days’ activities, she rather feels she had DONE gardening this year.

So, update on the yard. Leaves are bursting out all over and the tulips are almost all blooming--LG is very happy she shoved those babies in the ground late last year as they add a wee bit of perkiness now....and if the landscaper had not yet returned, she can't imagine how bleak the yard would be by now--and covered in weeds!!

Last weekend LG transplanted about 20 shrubs and perennials from her neighbour’s garden where they wintered to their new homes scattered about the yard. LG was stunned at how dry that earth was over there--LG hadn't even thought about watering there yet this year and realizes she may have just saved some of the shrubs in time as there was virtually no dirt clinging to the roots of several, including the amur maple and the weeping crab. But, they all seem to be thriving from her watering routine! None of them went back to where they came from....things are very different in the yard now. Anyway, this was a good work out. But, as usual, there was a certain angst based on an inability to identify what some of these shrubs were: potentilla (which, honestly, LG is not fond of)? Spirea? Ninebark? So, placement was a bit of Russian roulette. The potentilla is a bit of an issue—somehow, of the three, it ended up where LG will see it as she works inthe kitchen, whereas the other three are around the side of the house.

Part of LG’s angst was about placement because even though she had the landscape design in her hand, things on the ground didn’t work out as the designer planned. For instance, the path along the south side of the house ended up a lot closer to the house, meaning the beds on either side are not the same depth. (And, in all honesty, the plan looks way off the actual space there.) And LG didn’t want to mess up the themes or patterns of the designer’s concepts, so this “found” area ended up with several of these shrubs which also aren’t on the plan, at all, but LG refuses to sacrifice. Except that she is not a fan of Potentilla, partly because she has never had luck with them....somehow, these bushes thrive in Wal-Mart parking lots, but LG can’t grow one to save her life...perhaps attitude adjustment is in order, but, well, it may be too late.

Anyway, LG has been mostly pre-occupied with watering the sod: all waking hours that she has been at the house for the past 10 days have seen sprinklers trying to spread the liquid of life for the sod. Nine of those days have been incredibly windy and likely hindered the success. The front lawn looks not bad from a distance, but the back is rather patchy. Sigh...she kinda hopes for RAIN!

Cheers for now, and happy Garden Hunting!

Presto--a yard!

So, twelve hours earlier Lazy Gnome was bracing herself on this very blog-thing for hours of sweat and tears over the next week to slop around with mulch, yet as she approached the house, the three fabulous Landscape Gentlemen were finishing off the sod and had done 75% or more of the mulch! There was a bit of guilt; enough for LG to get into her scrubs and help spread around the rest of it, but she's happy--even if they charge her more, she is a happy camper!

The bigger picture: yes, there is still a lot of work for LG--planting ALL those shrubs the landscaper will eventually deliver, and moving those that wintered next door. However, she now feels, finally, that she has a yard, that the eyes of the neighbours and those dog walkers or cyclists happening past won't be looking quite as critically at her place. She has returned this lot--well, once the sod takes root, literally--to a more upstanding member of the neighbourhood.

Now LG simply has to, well, pay for all this...and try not to think about all the moola she has sunk into this house and property over the past 22 months...there is more to come. Tomorrow, for instance, the Floor Guy will be installing laminate in the basement room and the maybe Window Guy will stop by to develop a quote to replace the original wood-framed windows in the basement...and LG started on a WHIM to paint the bathroom--that will be a five-week project if she doesn't get going...and then there's the hot water tank that has been sitting in its box in the basement since Thanksgiving...it just never ends!! Oh--then the basement room will need to be trimmed and the electrical finished...when all she really wants to do is remove the awning above the north living room window and sit outside and read on the front steps...

Well, she's rambling and sadly not very elequent. She's also not as relieved as she thought she would be to have arrived at this stage...oh, that's right: there's the wee conflict with the Garage Guy, including the fact that something he has left may be severely dangerous...sigh.

Anyway, now perhaps LG can dedicate more of this space to discussing the virtues of actual plants....

Here's book for a paranoid gardener on a rainy day: Wicked Plants: The Weed that Killed Lincoln's Mother and other Botanical Atrocities by Amy Stewart. LG picked this up in the midst of that wicked winter we just survived, and read in horror about all the nasty plants we all probably have in our gardens. Despite the arctic-temperatures and the soothing ride home on the bus from Whyte that Saturday afternoon, a chill went down LG's spine to read that azaleas (so gorgeous!), foxglove (an LG fav since finding them wild across Ireland), and lobelia (that reassuringly successful annual for pots), and the hydrangea (which LG has ordered to be added to this new yard!!) each have tendencies to be nasty!! Yikes!!

Cheers for now, as a giddy LG bids you a good night....

"The coward's weapon, poison"~~Phineas Fletcher, 1614

The excitement builds....

Blooming tulips!

Trees in the ground!

Rolled sod!

The landscaper has been busy! And tonight when Lazy Gnome gets home, she will probably be busy herself spreading the mulch. The landscaper is going to dump it all over the area of the yard where the sod is currently rolled up--because by then it will be all laid out!!--and LG will be pilling mulch into her wee wheel barrel and trucking it carefully on the paving stones only--NOT across the fresh lawn--and setting it out over the beds...

This is not true Lazy Gnome activity, but at some point Lazy Gnome has to take more care over the costs and turn into Cheap-o Gnome. She has been doing some serious training to get her body into shape--lots of crazy Ashtanga Yoga which might just kill her...the entire right side of her body feels like it might just fall off!!

Anyway, the yard is really starting to take shape now....plus, the landscaper re-set paving stones where the settling of the area around the foundation was causing them to split between the rows, and the back door area where the ground beneath the stones had simple eroded due to all the moisture, combined with the apparently poor backfilling after the foundation work. LG wasn't around to see if they had tampered it back in, but luckily the landscaper was able to fix it. This particular landscaper guy, Chris, is really good to deal with. Very calm, asks lots of questions, explains things, takes the time to go over things, and has really done a fantastic job with the paving stones....wow. (The guy here with him yesterday was part of the tear-down crew last summer...he remembers the rain reallly well! And apparently because of the old deck, they had lots and lots of flat tires from old nails....oops.)

Anyway, looking forward to that hard labour after work!

LG

"The labour we delight in physics pain." ~~ William Shakespeare, Macbeth

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes." ~~ Oscar Wilde

They're baaack!!

This is very exciting—but it is so hard to welcome spring back without burbling over with clichés!

So, Lazy Gnome will focus on two events in the garden this past week...

First, the tulips are up and budding!! LG hastily tucked them into the earth some time in the fall, worried that as they had been untimely ripped from the yard last spring and banished to the basement (there being at the time, no garage!), they may not be appropriately primed to last the winter and put on their show...well, LG is happy to report that there are patches of them on three sides of the house! Characteristically, LG neglected to notate where she put what and as a result, each wee green or purple pointy, curled leaf that has come up has been a joyous surprise! And if some aren’t coming up...well, no one knows! Triumph of nature, those wondrous bulbs!

(As a somewhat depressing side note, if you, dear reader, were to trace back to LG’s posts from early May 2010, you would see that the tulips were up, had bloomed and then were unceremoniously trounced with snow by this time last year...)

Now, perhaps even more interestingly, the landscapers are back, too! In fact, they installed a whole new section of paving stone and outlined the edging for the beds on Friday. This is major progress! Tomorrow they promise to fix that section of paving stones that collapsed at the back door, and there should be sod when LG returns from work...sod! glorious, green grass!! This will require daily watering until it sets, and then an eventual high cut, but still, it will start to look like a yard!!

Now, the sad-ish part of this: in negotiating the work with the landscaper last summer, apparently in a fit of frugality, Lazy Gnome indicated she herself would lay the mulch. Ahem. Lazy Gnome loves mulch—it allows her to be extremely good at the lazy part...AFTER it is in place. Not that it is heavy, mind you, but she has been told she cannot roll it over the new sod. So, there will be several evenings this week and possibly all of next weekend during which LG will be steering the wheel barrel along the new paving stone to dump the mulch and then try to rake it into place...egads. Perhaps she can recruit / draft the 3-year old across the street who is enthralled with the "diggers"...
There will be a very high need for G&T’s by Saturday!!

PS: Happy Mother's Day!

"May is a pious fraud of the almanac." ~~~James Russell Lowell, 1869

"Who would have thought my shrivelled heart

Could have recovered greenness?"~~~George Herbert, The Flower, 1633

Psst....it's a secret...

...shh, we must be quiet, careful not to scare it away, but there might just be a sign of Spring--so shy this year, so afraid to shed her white cloak...but, I think, maybe, there must might be wee buds on the apple tree next door...!! Oops--there, it's out of the bag! Of course, there is too much snow for Lazy Gnome to do a proper investigation, but from the window there are wee little knobby things at the end of the branches....ooh, it is soooo exciting!!

Do you remember what spring looks like? What is your favourite first sign of Spring?

Also today there were swarms of Bohemian waxwings aloft in 6 elms out front, taking turns pecking at cones in the huge spruce next door--odd that the little birds look so much larger from a distance than relatively close up, leaving their red dropping-calling cards! And they were all chattering, hundreds of birds versus one squirrel chippering away! Suddenly, the chattering stopped, and with one soft "whoosh" of their wings, they all soared south, then north again, to reconvene at the peaks of another ever green down the street. But, they are hardly a sign of spring: LG saw swarms of them when she was out raking the snow off the roof in mid-January!

Until next time, LG signing off, off sign hunting! LG

How cold is it where you live?

Lazy Gnome is still alive and kicking even after all this snow and the see-saw weather...hope all you are alright, too!?

LG managed to accidentally buy a magazine that was NOT meant for Zone 3. She noticed the authors were from Western Canada so she thought, hey! that's good news! Well, she should have looked more carefully...

The cover main story is "7 Ways to Creat a Zen Retreat"; other blurbs that caught her attention on the cover included "cold-hardy conifers" and "7 design tricks for a gorgeous edible small-spaced garden". Well, LG's garden is not exatly small spaced, but any area dedicated to edibles probably will be small as LG assumes edible=lotsa work.

Unfortunately, the pieces have few outdoor applications this side of the Rockies, but some of the photos of work lucky Okanagan and Fraser Valley gardeners have undertaken are beautiful...sigh. Perhaps this magazine is part of a subliminal campaign to ensure it is every Albertan's aspiration to retire in BC...

However, there is one gem of a piece of information. It's a table that goes with last post's climate zone map. It explains that "[i]n general, the climate zone determines what will grow in your area. A simple definition is by minimum temperature." It goes on to show the "minimum" temperature for zones 0 to 9. LG understands that what they are taking about is actually the coldest general temperature in the year, and that plant life that survives in a given zone has to be able to live through these cold temperatures. LG is unsure if in some cases it means a given type of plant or shrub actually requires such cold temperatures to survive--similar to the concept that some plants' seeds require the heat of fire to germinate.

The magazine thoughtfully provides this in both Centigrade and Fahrenheit, which in LG's mind just confuses things. She also assumes this does not include the windchill factor--something we Edmontonians are VERY familiar with over the past three months....

Here is part of the chart--Centigrade only:
Zone 0: below -45C [yikes!]
Zone 1: - 45C
Zone 2: -45C to -40C
Zone 3: -40C to -35C....this is us.
Zone 4: -35C to -29C
Zone 5: -29C to -23C
Zone 6: -23C to -18C
Zone 7: -18C to -12C
Zone 8: -12C to -7C
Zone 9: -7 to -1C

LG has been particularly attentive to temperatures due to the necessity of walking to the busstop and the potential of waiting there for what might be an indeterminate period of time. She is well aware that the windchill factor has gone far below -30, but the actual "base" temperature she believes has maybe once or twice this winter dipped below that...when your face is freezing it makes no difference what makes it so cold. But who knows what requirements Mother Nature has for plants insulated by a snow pack the Rockies would envy.

Anyway, as LG writes, she is happy to see that she and her fellow citizens have survived yet another week of topsy-turvy weather, and wonders what the next five days have in store!

Hang in there, fellow travellers....we will arrive at Spring, um, sometime before Fall!?

Lazy Gnome was originally hoping to provide a forum for local gardeners to share information on gardening—besides reading about LG’s complaints. Why? Because LG is convinced that other than the local gardening centres, there is actually a dearth of information for Zone 3, which is disappointing in Canadian publications. The Lazy Gnome blog-thing gives you a chance to share what you find, be it helpful information or to warn others off false, misleading or just annoying stuff. So, feel free to add to the tidbits offered here, to challenge anything you read, and ask questions...someone might actually try to answer them!

Edmonton is in Zone 3 (specifically 3a) which is better than Zone 2 as far as options are concerned, but the big markets in Canada are more like Zone 4a to 5b (Southern Ontario) and those lucky so and so’s in Victoria(Zone 8a). For the full map, see the link in the previous post.

Recently, Gnome finally got up off the couch and bought a couple of gardening magazines published north of the 49th. She would like to share with you her thoughts on Canadian Gardening’s Great Garden Guide (Annual, 2011, on display until April 30). The cover shows a serene, Zen-inspired scene with a water feature, lots of green and what looks like the Cranesbill geranium in the foreground. Inside there are several features, and a few that LG recommends for others looking for short tidbits of information, and a special treat.

The issue seems to built around the theme of “tens”—several articles presenting “The 10 best...”. An eye-catching piece is about the 10 best woody plants (trees and shrubs) for four season interest. The “interest” is in colour or texture of bark, or the colour and shape of evergreens. Happily, of the 10, while only 1 is labelled as zone 3 (“Candicans” white fir—never heard of it but probably LG’s community is filled with them) and THREE species that are labelled Zone 2: a gold-coloured cedar (“Sunkist”, a blue spruce (“Hoopsii”), and a dogwood “Cardinal Redosier”). Now, LG doesn’t speak Latin and so can’t remember those names well. She is occasionally willing to risk planting a Zone 2 shrub in a Zone 3 area such as Edmonton, on the ill-formed assumptions that since Zone 2 is colder than Zone 3, a Zone 2 should consider itself quite happily on vacation in Edmonton. But, LG advised that if the shrub doesn’t do well, it must really want more cold, and is therefore NOT a shrub of LG’s interest as she ain’t looking for more cold.

Meanwhile, LG also suspects that we can try some Zone 4 shrubs—you know, if you have that ability to create a “microclimate” in a warm corner with lots of sun and heat leaking from your basement, and you baby the crap out of a shrub labelled Zone 4, you might have luck. So, with that in mind, you might like to see that four of the rest of the list are Zone 4: a winterberry, a birch, a hemlock and something called a “Harry Lauder’s Walking Stick”. Someday I might look them up; I am certain there are some species of hemlock and that walking stick in the Lois Hole book on trees and shrubs. The photo in the magazine of the walking stick does provide lots of winter interest as the branches are all twisted and curvy. Cool.

The article on the 10 best Hostas claims they are all hardy to at least Zone 3. Now that is exciting! However, LG doesn’t recall seeing any directly attached photo and she can’t name hostas, although she can recognize some. Still, it’s promising.

The major feature in the magazine, however, is a 28-page series of articles and photos of ONE garden. Actually, it is a 10-acre private property, which incorporates different types of gardens: ornamental, formal, wildflower meadow and water garden. The photos do show all four seasons from the same spot, and sometimes you cannot tell without serious study that it is the same garden. Fascinating and educational. Let’s face it: real landscapers always tell us to consider what our gardens will look like all year when planning them or making decisions about what to put where. However, because this time of year we cannot do that—either the view is obscured by a snow storm, by darkness (because for three months we spend daylight at work and commute in the dark), or by glare when the sun reflects off the snow. Also, because while we have the four seasons, but they change gradually, we simply forget—like we repress that pain of -28C when it is +22. So, LG found these pictures quite interesting—and easier than taking her own photos.
LG actually pitied these poor people—how they must suffer with extreme green thumb-itis.

Ten acres is not a garden; it’s a park...LG nearly broke out in hives thinking about how much work must be involved...imagine the sweat, the heaving lifting, the mosquitoes...yikes! But, all those worries about that poor gardener receded when LG read the quote that they hire help: professionals to help with spring clean up, and part time help through the growing season...ahh, LG can ignore her inferiority complex for now. Hiring help? Well, not for LG. First, she’d feel compelled to share her Mojitos and that ain’t gonna happen. And please, dear friends, if Lazy Gnome starts to make noises about acquiring a freaking 10-acre garden, please, please get her help....yikes! That kind of effort and ambition can be admired, but is not for the truly lazy amongst us...

The verdict: this issue of Canadian Gardening Great Garden Guide is worth a look. It has more Zone 3-related information than LG was expecting, and that makes her happy!!

A substitute post...

Howdy. Okay, here is where LG's true ludditeness comes into play. She just spent 90 minutes drafting and finessing a post, but she went to paste in the link below and lost the entire rest of tonight's work. Sorry, but she needs a hot bath and a long drink now...hopefully tomorrow she will feel motivated to get back at it!

The link is to the interactive version of the plant hardiness zone map for Canada. It takes a VERY long time to load, but it is rather worth it in a geeky kind of way. ciao.


http://atlas.agr.gc.ca/agmaf/index_eng.html#context=phz-zrp_en.xml&extent=-1680393.493728,346239.79387213,-635289.89141736,564520.92600031&layers=place37M,place25M,place15M,place5M,place1M,place500K,place250K;rivers25M,rivers15M,rivers5M,rivers1M,rivers500K,lakes37M,lakes25M,lakes15M,lakes5M,lakes1M,lakes500K,Roads25M,Roads15M,Roads5M,Roads1M,Roads500K,ferry500K,bndy5-37M,bndy1M,BndyLn1-5M;PlantHardinessZone2000;

Hibernating...?

Lazy Gnome is stirring back to life, too. Recently the Landscaper wanted to know whether LG was still interested in the plants, trees and shrubs planned for last year—they have to order their stock now. Great news!

Other signs? Last Sunday, the first sound LG heard upon wakening was birds singing outside; LG now arrives home from the Office while it is still daylight; the squirrels have appeared throughout the winter, but now they are downright playful; and today, LG heard a Northern Flicker’s LOUD Tutt-tutt-tutt on a wooden power pole. (http://talkaboutwildlife.ca/profile/index.php?s=190)

LG wishes she had been able to hibernate, care-free since fall. However, the snowfall has been near-recording breaking, in particular in mid-December to late January. LG learned a whole new winter sport: raking snow from the roof. She was shocked at the massive dams of ice and the humongous icicles hanging from the new eavestroughing she had installed in November. In a call to the eavestroughing people to complain, she was told that it is a common misconceptions that ice damming has anything to do with the eaves. LG hates making common misconceptions.

Luckily, LG has a perfectionist friend. He brought over his roof rake in late December and the two of them did her house and the neighbour’s. Within the week, LG bought a roof rake herself, an uncharacteristically lucky move: news reports shortly thereafter were that these simple aluminum poles with plastic hoe-type attachments were sold out across the City. She raked her roof four weekends in a row, due to continual snowfall. The most frightening thing was one evening, returning home from a night out, LG found water dripping in the basement from the floor joists.

She assumes water was getting in somewhere, trailing down between the outside and inside of an exterior wall, and then finding the path of least resistance to the low point on the joist. She set up pails and panicked.

Fortunately, she had already contracted to have additional insulation installed in the "knee walls" of her 1 1/2 story home. But, that won't make the ice damming go away, but in combination with the roof-raking, she feels somewhat better--for this winter, anyway.

On the positive side: the snowfall provided LOTS of opportunities to burn calories in the New Year. Plus, all those hours raking the roof, looking skyward, LG saw several flocks of Bohemian Waxwings silently swarming from tree to tree. (http://talkaboutwildlife.ca/profile/index.php?s=252 )

But , Lazy Gnome wants to tell the story of the Garden, and right now it is covered by ageing snow which this weekend is melting at a furious pace...LG wonders if Mother Nature is gently awakening the roots, seeds and underground critters, or trying to get them all to stay asleep for a few more weeks?

Enjoy the mild weather, keep your sidewalks as clear as you can, walk carefully on the ice, watch for birds, and watch for other signs of encroaching Spring!

"Hibernation is a covert preparation for a more overt action."
~~Ralph Ellison

It's Finished!!

Tonight, at 8:57 PM, Lazy Gnome drove her car into the garage for the very first time--an historical moment!!

To say it has been a long and rather tumultuous road is an understatement...and this post will be brief to focus on the positives! Now that the building is done and is all mine, and there is just niggly business stuff to look after, LG will probably feel better about summarizing the process and coming up with a "in retrospect" kind of lessons learned, sparing her readers the petulant--but justified!!--moans and groans (oh, the agony!) she has been through. But now, she is so happy she has the hiccups!!

Another reason to celebrate is that a very good friend had her third baby in the wee hours today--a shiny, bouncy baby boy. I don't know his name yet but that's okay...

LG should get some shut eye--her big adventure tomorrow is getting the car in for its winterization...smell any irony there? The first freezing cold spell is already upon us, and the car finally gets to sleep inside after two winters exposed--and NOW we are getting it ready for the season? Well, yes--and LG may buy winter tires: even the thought of the occasional trek to her office at the South Pole fills her with dread in good weather--this is craziness! And just in time--with the tires--as LG must drive on Monday in order to meet the furnace repair guy here...long story, and no doubt LG will bore you with it. Yes, there is heat; and yes, there are cats--let's just leave it at that for now!

LG is giving herself a Safeway-made salad, a cheap French wine and the Keira Knightley version of Pride and Prejudice tonight...we will see if it is any match to Colin Firth....sigh...

Giving Thanks...and caution

Well, it has been quite a while since Lazy Gnome provided progress report on the garage and landscaping work in her yard...well, she has not only been lazy, but also working through some "issues"....Judging by the last post, LG is guessing that the stress started when the Store began making the errors in delivery...and, as the Garage Guy recently pointed out, each and every error or change delays things.

And so, here we are, October 11 and the garage is not finished. Well, it is nearly finished, but not yet. However, it is finished enough that the landscapers have begun their next phase of work. As it is so late in the year, only the grading and the paving stone pathways will be completed this year. The rest will await until Spring, which is also going to be easier on LG's wallet. (Given that the earth around the foundation was disrupted when the waterproofing happened, the landscaper recommended that it be allowed to settle, another reason to let things sit for a while.)

So, LG has some catching up to do, but will pace herself--and yourselves, dear readers--in providing the frustrating and embarassing details. LG has some concerns that providing a detailed history will cause her to re-live it, and wonders whether continual posting throughout the events would have been better therapy than the bottle that rests beside her now...beer: we might be moving up to gin very soon.

Well. For this first post after more than two months, let us just say this: the mind is a powerful thing and sometimes it really works against you! So, take control of it dear readers, lest you find yourself worried about being institutionalized. Coming out of the haze of stress and "depression" has been interesting; it has not all be caused by the garage, but it has been focused there as LG seems prone to blaming. So, for your enlightenment and hopefully in order that others may benefit from LG's recent experience, offered below is something that I truly hope you DO NOT identify with. Please consider it for its educational benefits, and watch for these signs in those you love:

"Top Four Ways to Tell if YOU are Stressed" [a.k.a., one bad week]:

4. You yell at a contractor working his butt off on your behalf to provide information you asked for and over which he has no control, resulting from a MAJOR change request you made at the last minute. Poor form.
3. Your eighty-four year-old mother has better short-term memory than you do. You phone her to apologize for forgetting to give her some left over turkey, while she is eating a sandwich made of said forgotten-given white meat.
2. You fork over $1700+ to the emergency veterinarian hospital after they treat your 3 and 1/2 year old, huge male cat for a urinary tract blockage usually caused by crystals; however, in your cat's case, the blockage is due to an inflammation which the vets suggest is caused by stress. But he's such a sensitive boy-cat--and you are therefore the stress carrier.
1. At the hair salon, while receiving a scalp and neck massage which is administered by a young man who is wearing more eye make-up than you have ever owned, you start to cry.

...and what you should do about it should this be your level of stress:

3. Practice avoiding the stress by thinking positively, not obsessing about what else can go wrong, appreciate what you have, and all that jazz. Today, Lazy Gnome addressed her Christmas cards while the plumber kept finding more "surprises" in the pipes under the kitchen sink. The strategy is to avoid the pressure of doing the cards in the third week of December when she will be tired of "Ho, Ho, HO!"; when they get mailed is another question.
2. Seek professional help--why is handling day to day stuff getting more difficult? This must be included in every list.
1. Self medicate with libation of choice. Use your imagination and feel free to share; readers and LG especially are interested in suggested new approaches for gin...

Someone famous said something like this:
How quiet the woods would be if only the birds that sang well, sang.

Lazy Gnome.

My wish is for you and your loved ones to have a really good Thanksgiving weekend!

Lazy Gnome...

D-Day: Delivery, part 1?

Well, Dear Reader: there it is! The parts and bits and pieces that will become my garage! And the Garage Guy has even started to put together some walls, which you can sort of see resting on top of the garage pad on the far left of the photo....it is very exciting!

Lazy Gnome, who admittedly gets excited because she is not really all that big on surprises, sometimes finds projects a bit perplexing. For instance, although she spent many hours in person at the Store and even on the phone with the Store last week, there are a couple of mysteries about the Delivery. The minor one is this: LG was advised many, many times that the whole package comes at once, "except the car door which is delivered later/ on a separate truck" because it is often damaged. Even yesterday when LG was on the phone with the actual delivery division of the Store's organization, this is what she was told. So, upon her arrival home, she expected to find the door. Well, no: it comes a few days later and in fact sometimes you have to arrange for its arrival on a later date. Fairly significant distinction to the surprise-averse.

The second one is the biggie, however. The time spent in discussions with the Store was related to complications due to LG's changing of her mind on the siding. The complications seem to have arisen because she confirmed her siding on a different day, and paid for it all at once. Thus begat a second and separate invoice. Then, later, LG wanted to change the colour of the downspouts but the sample siding colour that she had chosen was no where to be found. So, LG changed to a less expensive siding in a colour they could produce for her at the time. Thus begat what is called a refund. However--well, to spare the reader the details, LG is still unable to have anyone of three of the Store's employees actually find a way to explain what happened to that refund. But, she has been reassured by senior sales staff that everything is in order with her order, and that all would be well. She neither owed money nor was owed money.

Okay; so, the purchaser has 24 hours to confirm the order has arrived....

Well, there ain't nothin' out there that looks like siding to LG.... and so, another round of discussions is what LG foresees for herself tomorrow. It is very unlikely that Garage Guy hid the siding somewhere or removed it from the property; after all, he left his battery charger plugged in outside.

The extra window is there, the name on the shingling looks like the one on the invoice....but, no siding.

The Store, which LG hopes she has left nameless to this point, has never had LG's business before. They appear to be prepared to deal with contractors, not actual people; certainly not people who have never done this type of thing before. They have all been exceedingly nice--that is not my concern (although one I trust not and would actively suggest anyone avoid)--however, there is a chasm between what they know about the business of ordering and construction and what their clients do; lots of room for improving customer service. Plus, the computer system and payment processes are archaic; perhaps they awaiting a systems upgrade, which would probably save their own staff a huge amount of heartache....

Anyway, as my neighbour said, "well, at least you've got lumber!"

And so, the lesson here: LG should look away from projects for that long desired serenity...

Progress!!

Yes, Lazy Gnome is very pleased that things are moving along in her backyard...and it involves none of her own sweat...

The upper photo shows the frame of the garage pad, as well as the road crush and rebar that form the underpinnings of the garage. The middle is the full shot of the poured pad with the frame removed.

It seems so high! Visually it is a bit of trick to realize how much soil and other materials were removed by the landscapers until you can find a point of reference. For instance, the bottom photo shows the back water valve, which is meant to be flush witht he top of the soil, sticks up about 8 inches.

Alas, the pad, as pretty and innocuous as it may seem, does reveal one of the main issues in a large project such as this: communication helps eliminate false assumptions. The garage guy and Lazy Gnome didn't talk details before this stage of the construction was undertaken--Lazy Gnome hasn't built a garage before and he didn't ask. As a result, the opening in the curb around the edge of the garage pad is not where Lazy Gnome's plan had it. It faces the house whereas LG wanted it on the side.

Plus, there is an issue behind the garage pad. LG did not include a driveway in the items for the garage guy to build so he said that he assumed she was putting in a road crush area and left a large area of rough concrete there as a base for that.

Well, now, Lazy Gnome has been planning for a new product that allows grass to grow through it but has enough support to drive over. It can be shovelled and the lawn can be cut--it's either a rubber or concrete type of lattice-work just below the surface or something. Well, that does NOT involve a concrete base, so that may be impossibly now. Argh.

Anyway, garage guy and landscapers have to talk....

But, today the supplier is to deliver the rest of the package, and when LG gets home from work, there might be signs of a structure reaching for the sky....!!

It is kind of exciting!! However, the rabbit in the bottom photo doesn't seem to appreciate the significance of all this...he's just happy to have some roots to nibble on....

And the Garage Begins!

The landscaper finished trucking away debris a week ago between bouts of rain. Now it's dry enough for the garage to begin. The photo shows the beginning of the forms--the frame into which the garage pad will be set. It is somewhat stalled because Lazy Gnome didn't think about what was happening enough to consider calling in One Call to mark the gas line, so the Garage Guy has done so and is going to wait to ensure he avoids an explosion. Yes, Edmonton has been the City of Exploding Houses this summer, and we don't need one here!!

After the forms are finished, the road crush will be set down then the concrete will be poured. It is SO exciting to see something positive, something going up rather than being torn out.

However, we must return to the evils of water: more in the basement last week. Why? The Usual Suspects: Poor grading still. Eaves troughs are hosting wee trees. Possibly weeping tile full of sediment. Today's worries: drain/ re-do the weeping tile? Put up new eaves troughs? There's little point in fixing the grade if the downspouts aren't working!!

Wonders of water....

Well, dear readers: Lazy Gnome's frustration over the weather might soon turn to outright melancholy. She must be strong, and remember that water gives us and the world as we know it life, beauty and strength. As events this weekend in Newfoundland and Labradour have also reminded us, water is stronger than we are. At risk of getting partisan, LG would just remind everyone that water is a precious resource but far more than a commodity and that the pundants assume the next great war will be over it or because of it.

We cannot live without water. This much is true. Here are a couple other thoughts to ponder:

~"Water is life's mater and matrix, mother and medium. There is no life without water."~~ Albert von Szent-Gyorgyl (1893-1986)

~"Now I would give a thousand furlongs of sea for an acre of barren ground." ~~William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

~"The biologist passes, the frog remains." ~~Jean Rostand (1894-1977)

If you are terribly bored and frustrated over this weather and feeling creativity pent up inside you like cabin fever, feel free to write a 50 or 500 word essay, or a limerick or even a Haiku celebrating water or anything that comes to mind after reading the quotes, above. At the very least, guess which play the Bard's quote is from! (LG just finished reading a book that takes place in the late 1800's Japan which is full of images of balance and beauty, and all the strength and conflict it takes to create a moment of serenity. Highly recommended: The Teahouse Fire. Water figures prominently in the world of Japanese gardens and of course in the making of tea.)

Anyway, feel empowered to pen an ode to your basement flood or an elegy to the picnic that never was...or , if you are a Street Performer, well, you are allowed to just wail a bit.

Red Hot!

Well, nearly red hot, but large it's definitely not. Still, it's like a little miracle: with all this rain, and having been moved from the sun-drenched south side of the house to the shade-dappled West side to accommodate the landscaper guys, who would have guessed this wee tomato would be looking ready to pluck so soon!

Lazy Gnome bought this plant at the Old Strathcona Farmers' Market and plunked into this pot only about three weeks ago--and look!! LG feels like a real farmer! Well, maybe not so much but, it's a tiny step toward really local eating.

It's so cute, though, I can't really imagine eating it...oh, wait, yes I can!

Hope your garden is growing well; at least everyone will save on water charges this year, although we may bemoan the actual yield.

Cheers!

Work is progressing!!

Lazy Gnome is "happy" to say that this is the bottom photo is the view of the house from the alley as of this morning. Isn't it swell?

The Landscapers hauled away about 9 truckloads of concrete, earth, sod and green stuff yesterday alone. LG was surprised to see them here yesterday, and on Friday and on the day before that as there has been a lot of rain in River City this past week. One of the crew said that kind of work they were doing in my yard is about all they can do when it is this wet. He usually works in commercial rather than residential--putting boulevards into new developments, etc. LG realizes, too, that although she may be frustrated with weather-related delays, the companies also have to deal with the fact that they can't earn any money either.

The crew member also said that three years ago, some clients were waiting a whole season before their work could be done. Yikes!!

All this is to say that LG is less likely to be complaining about delays from now on--in part because the work has actually started and so there is some relief in that alone.

The top photo is the wooden walkway that the landscapers have provided to ensure LG has a way in and out of the house....it's a long way through mucky sludge without this gangplank, for sure!

When the crew was packing up to leave for the day, LG asked the crew lead if they found anything interesting in the yard as they were digging things up. "Nothing we can sell on e-Bay", he said.

Demolitionland....waterland

The landscaper demolition crew were here on Monday for about 2.5 hours. They managed to dig up pretty well all the cement in the back yard and the deck and pile it up into these lovely mounds before they left.

By then, it was raining hard. And it continued to rain hard all that night and much of the following evening. Parts of the yard are secure enough to walk on, cautiously, but some is still too slick to really get a secure footing. This is the second full day that they haven't returned, and Lazy Gnome is assuming they may not be here tomorrow, either.

Meanwhile, Monday night at 9:30 water was discovered in the basement. Not a huge amount and nothing appears to have been damaged, however, water is water and water in the basement is frightening. By some small miracle the garage guy showed up at the door Tuesday morning so LG showed him the situation in the basement. He believes based on consultation with his business partner that it is due to the grading and that once that is corrected it will not happen again. This is why we are going through this whole procedure, so it might be a huge sign from Mother Nature that we are doing the right thing and at the right time.

However, others have suggested having some magic composition injected into the wall at the point of the drip. This is worth checking out~~interjection: THUNDER! Surprise! So much for the sunshine which appears in the photo taken 15 minutes ago. This is reminiscent of the summer of 2004 when LG and her neighbours were trying to get fences built...hours spent hiding from the rain on the verandah, watching the water flow across the front of our properties and down the road...it was fascinating.

Back to the water in the basement: The most extreme possibility is that the weeping tile needs to be re-done. That is a huge intervention but should be entertained NOW given that the landscaping work is underway and why do everything up pretty just to dig it up again next year, say? Plus, it appears to LG that a poor backfilling job of the installation of the weeping tile originally is what has caused all the land around the foundation to slope toward the house.

Okay--more thunder: time to go close all the windows, again. Any drying the mud did today is now shot.

LG might crawl under the covers and hide...or, she might pull out the paint samples for the back entry and the back bedroom that she picked up although one should really select colours based on sunlight....

Or, she could wait in the basement for the first signs of more water.

...and now they have left

Well, the landscaper's demolition crew worked for a couple of hours in the rain, calling it quits around 6 PM. This is reasonable.

They piled up a montrous mountain of wood scraps that were once my deck, which sits in the shadow of the higher mountain of cement that was once the old garage pad, various sidewalks in the back and the patio underneath the old deck. Both piles are high a forboding, and awaiting ferrying away to a dump or recycle centre soon.

Lazy Gnome uses the word "ferry" purposefully: the torential rains out there now will force anyone trying to get near those piles tomorrow to use a boat, a special boat that floats and navigates through rivers and lakes of mud...no doubt over night the cement pile will glisten its cleanliness in the moonlight should the clouds clear, having been showered all these hours by loving Mother Nature. argh.

In short, every drop of rain that pummels down now melts away LG's waning optimism that this project will ever finish. There is no way they will be able to operate their wee bobcats in that gumbo in the morn...

They're Here! They're Here!!

Yes, the landscaper's demolition crew are here...they started about 20 minutes ago and already the place looks, well, under demolition....it's exciting, a bit sad and very distracting at the same time.

Three guys and two wee bobcats, which surprises me. The sewer guys had a backhoe whick broke up the deck and old patio really easily; this is taking more work. And they are going to hurt their backs.

The first thing they did was drill some pointy attachment on the front of one bobcat through the hard surface of the gravel driveway right above the gas line. I freaked out a bit even though the drill-thing wasn't very long. Edmonton: City of Exploding Houses.

The house is rattling a bit, but that will be worse as they get closer to the house. The old deaf cat hasn't noticed, but the younger two are hiding or running about with their bumbs as close to the ground as possible.

So, I'm home on vacation and in part am happy to be in order to see some of this...perhaps this is not such a good idea. I might snap some pictures but do have other things to do.

More later....

Okay, the house is really rattling now...they must be breaking up the patio right by the backdoor...