Push Mowers are Heaven!

Lazy Gnome loves her lawn mower. Now, she doesn’t often get all excited about a tool, let alone a gardening tool because being a tool, by definition, it represents work. And, as we know, Lazy Gnome is all about not doing work. However, if a tool can make a necessary chore more pleasant, that is a good thing[*].

This particular lawn mower is a Gardena 380C, a lovely wee push mower. It is LG’s first push mower but not her first tool for cutting the lawn.

This is push mower has so many advantages over the electric or gas-powered alternatives. First, it is quiet so you can safely cut the lawn without worrying about ruining your neighbour’s attempts at entertaining. Second, it is very light making it easy to manoeuvre and in LG’s case, take up and down the stairs as it currently lives in the basement. Thirdly, there are hardly any moving parts and what there are, you can see all at once—no mysteries! Fourth: no bagging. Okay, this is a choice but given the operation of this mower, bagging is not a necessity for safety because the blades can’t get moving fast enough to fling projectiles into anyone’s eyes. And no doubt there are other ways to sign its praises.

Others may find they prefer the power and likely increased speed of the actual mowing action of an electric or gas powered mower. However, the Gardena 380C involves no usage of electricity (so no charging or power cords to deal with) or messing around with gas. (LG’s last mower was a 2-stroke engine that involved mixing oil into the gas. Yikes and yucky!!)

While the push mower is very light to use, a person can still get a bit of a work out taking it around the yard. All the energy in its operation is from the energy burned by the user. And burning calories really is the only redeeming reason to sweat. Sweat = less guilt while drinking Mojitos. This is important: LG’s weekly usage of the 2-stroke monster drove her to drink. She would take an entire evening to do the lawn—to start, it was 45 minutes of edging by dragging two 30-feet electrical cords around tree trunks, under shrubs and around the corner property to operate a $2.00 garage sale weed whacker before she could even pull the mower out. And the bagging—the endless hoisting of the mower bag over her shoulder to carry it over to the contraption set up to ease the operation of dumping the clippings into the black garbage bag, so pleasant a task in itself. Then, every night after all this, she had a beer. Once week all summer over 10 years can build a bad habit: Pavlov would have been proud. It got to the point where even the smell of freshly cut lawn would trigger the beer reflex.

So, here at the “new” house, LG has been fighting that impulse so far with some success. Given that one tactic is to divide the lawn care over several days or evenings, this is a good fight because that could mean a beer every day at this pace!! So, LG owes even her current sobriety to the Gardena 380C...

*Unfortunately, there are some who disagree with LG’s understanding of pleasant activity in relation to cutting the lawn. For instance, the June 2010 issue of Family History Monthly magazine has an essay called “Products that Changed the World: Turf Trimmers” about the evolution of contraptions meant to address a fad that arose from the 1700’s, in which “[a] well-cultivated lawn became a status symbol.” They conclude with this: “With their manpowered equipment, our ancestors found lawn mowing a heavy, tiresome chore. Today, the task has been greatly improved with lightweight, electric-powered hover or petrol-driven machines. Thank goodness for progress and the development of these grass-guillotining gadgets!” Well, they are entitled to their opinion. However, it might be pointed out that the alliteration in the final phrase packs extra punch as the opening paragraph blames the initial fashion for formal lawns on the French...a-hem.

~~~
A bad workman blames his tools~~ Proverb
A bad excuse is better than none~~Another Proverb

Welcome!

May 1, 2010

This summer—hopefully this spring!—my yard will transform from neglected urban plot to low-maintenance, drought-resistant, mature neighbourhood paradise!

Well, maybe “paradise” is pushing it...but, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and Lazy Gnome finds beauty in any gardening activities that do not require elevating heart rate or sweating. All Lazy Gnome wants to do all summer is sit outside and read, preferably with a coffee or a mojito...

History: a year ago Lazy Gnome purchased a 65-year old house in a mature neighbour of Edmonton, Alberta. While viewing the property, Lazy Gnome was seduced by thoughts that being so close to downtown, the large yard, with nary a tree or back fence had “lots of potential”. Yes, in the years between now and retirement, I could putter around and magically create a charming city retreat.

But my inner Lazy Gnome was screaming out: “Condos! I thought we wanted a condo!! Run—get thee to the condos! There isn’t even a garage to keep the snow shovel—AAK!! SNOW SHOVELLLING?!”

But, perhaps won over by nostalgia for by-gone days--largely imaginary--of lounging on a lawn chair, or evenings entertaining on the veranda of a different house, the choice was made, and the large lot was purchased...

I tried to convince Lazy Gnome that yard work could be meditative, pleasant and enriching. However, such a Zen—like love of yard work was only a simple a matter of attitude’s triumph over effort when one had not much to do anyway and reaching for the mojito rather than the rake wasn't a sign of moral depravity. Friends--garden loving friends even--were aghast that I pulled weeds after work on a Friday. So the quack grass choked out the snow-in-summer in the south facing flower bed? Everything has the right to live, and besides, who wants to spend all afternoon pulling it out. Peonies sprouting in the middle of the “lawn”? But you love peonies—they’re so cute out there!

A rare lovely Saturday afternoon wasted in trying to pull thistle, perennial dandelions and Manitoba maple suckers (from where!?) was the last straw: looking into the future, Lazy Gnome could only see this pathetic "meditative exercise" repeated weekly, and forever unless drastic measures were taken, and decided that a yard make-over was required. This will be necessary for the sake of the house, the neighbours, and the enjoyment of those years leading up to retirement...

Surveying the property more critically, Lazy Gnome admitted a few other things. The grade slopes toward the house in a four-foot band around the three visible sides of the house. The ancient deck’s exposed nails and loose boards are a safety hazard for residents and guests. No trees means no privacy: the chain link fence doesn’t block sightinghsof neighbours and their stuff (and theirs of you and yours), sounds, animals. The slope of the grade between the house and the alley funnels to a central low point, deep enough to create a spring melt-fed river between the back door and the garage pad.

Yes, the garage pad—a garage is necessary. However, due to the slope and drainage issues, the entire grade needs to be done first.

Reluctantly, Lazy Gnome acknowledged the fantasized puttering would never result in a garden paradise. I succumbed to Lazy Gnome's argument that this is too big of a problem to handle alone: I forced Lazy Gnome to "do it yourself" a landscaping project a few years ago...it was not good. Ergo, professionals would have to be engaged, and so the planning began.

The first step involved discovering where the underground utilities are found, and so a call to Alberta One Call was made. But, Alberta One Call is no longer “one call”. They no longer locate water lines, so it is necessary to have someone such as a plumber locate and mark the water lines.

Which, of course, lead to the Sewer Saga. But, that is a story for another time.

This blog will follow the events of the re-landscaping, partly because Lazy Gnome anticipates feeling somewhat guilty that there will be little yard work for her to do in 2010 and she would like to contribute something to the efforts of other hard working, earnest gardeners' efforts, even if it is only bland entertainment.

Today’s motto: In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd. Miguel de Cervantes